Struggle to adapt

Medusa · Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 2:46 pm Post subject: Struggle to adapt

Dear all,

I'm hoping that perhaps you can give some feedback and advice. My husband is currently back in India after finding life here in france too difficult and almost having a breakdown. He comes from a very poor simple indian family and not only endured the culture shock, as I'm sure many of you did, but also the drastic change in quality/level of life.
I had prepared as much as possible in order to ease him into the life here, and did everything I possibly could to help him. However, his fear and misunderstanding turned into agression and frustration against me because he didn't know how to handle everything.
Our couple has drastically suffered and now he is back in India, and we don't know what we will do next.

Have any of you come from this background? (basic education, poor family etc) Do you know anyone who has, and how did they adapt?
What could you suggest to help if he decides to come back? All thoughts are welcome.

a very sad and disapointed
Crying or Very sad

Medusa

sabine · Posted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 2:40 pm Post subject:

Oh!! I'm sorry to hear things are going that bad for you. I really hope you'll find a solution...together. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

murtazabaker · Posted: Wed Jun 24, 2009 9:34 pm Post subject:

Hi Medusa,

I know I am way too young to give advice, but firstly, its best to communicate through a telephone or emails or a msn chat (anything which you both feel most comfortable with) and find a solution which suits best for both of you to be together.

How long did your husband stay with you in France before he got frustrated and left ? If its not too long, then you need to make him understand in a peaceful way to return back and give it some time to adjust. In the mean while, it would be great if he could find some assignments related to his field of work or maybe enroll for french language classes to make the first step and motivate himself to adjust.

If he is still not ready to return, then maybe you should propose to him about moving to a altogether new place. But, along with that you need to make him understand that in any case ( France or somewhere else) he will have to make adjustments and try to adapt himself to new situations and challenges.

I am sure he will understand you and reunite with you soon. In the mean while, keep a cool head and be positive. That's the best part about interracial marriages...WE always have new challenges to face and new learning.

I am pretty positive that life will be back to normal soon and you will be together once again.

Regards

Murtaza
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onniz2008 · Posted: Mon Dec 28, 2009 10:01 pm Post subject: Looking to meet mixed couples

Namastey!

Im an Indian Girl married to a Frenchman. We're both in our early 30s working in finance. We have a 1 year old daughter to whom I speak exclusively Hindi. With my hubby, we speak in Hindi (he understands pretty the language well), English & French.

We are interested in meeting mixed couples if possible with small kids to whom they speak in Hindi.

My contact is onniz2008@rediffmail.com.

Hoping to hear from you.

Medusa · Posted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 5:15 pm Post subject:

Dear all,

thanks you so much for your replies, I am really sorry for not replying earlier - your replies and the time you spend writing them were greatly appreciated. It was such a difficult time that I hadn't realised that I hadn't acknowledged your messages.
Just to inform you that the situation is still pending, we don't know what we will do, but any experiences I feel may hep others I will post on here!

again, many thanks for all who posted.

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